Coping Skills & Gentle Ways to Manage Anxiety
Finding steady ground when your mind won’t stop racing.
Anxiety shows up in so many forms — a fluttery feeling in your chest, a restless buzzing under your skin, a sense that your brain is running 10 tabs at once (with at least three of them frozen). For many neurodivergent and chronically overwhelmed humans, anxiety isn’t just an occasional visitor; it’s something we’ve learned to navigate daily. And while it can feel heavy or frustrating, anxiety is not a personal failure — it’s a nervous system doing its best to protect you.
Think of anxiety less like an enemy and more like a well-meaning, overcaffeinated guard dog: loud, alert, and convinced danger lurks behind every corner. Our goal isn’t to silence it completely, but to help it calm down enough to lie at our feet instead of dragging us around by the leash.
Here are some gentle, grounding, accessible ways to manage anxiety — especially helpful for neurodivergent folks who need approaches that actually work with their brain, not against it.
1. Regulate Through the Body (Not Just the Mind)
Anxiety lives in the nervous system, so body-based support often works faster than “thinking your way calm.”
Try:
Weighted objects (blankets, lap pads, or even a heavy pillow)
Cold therapy (a chilled drink, cold cloth on the neck, ice pack on wrists)
Movement that feels natural (rocking, pacing, stretching, dancing in the kitchen)
Deep pressure (hugging a pillow, grounding your feet into the floor)
These techniques tell your brain: Hey, we’re safe.
2. Simple, Sensory-Friendly Breathing
Many people — especially autistic and ADHD folks — struggle with slow, drawn-out breathing exercises. They can feel suffocating or frustrating.
Here are alternatives that help reset your system without forcing long breaths:
Box breathing: inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4
Shape breathing: trace a square or star with your finger while breathing
Anchored breathing: breathe in normally and pair the exhale with a repeated phrase like “I’m here” or “This moment is okay.”
3. Sensory Grounding Techniques
When your thoughts spiral, grounding brings you back to the present.
Try one of these:
Notice 5 things you can see
Touch 1 comforting texture
Hold a familiar object (stone, fidget, knitted heart, Ouchlet, etc.)
Describe your surroundings as if you’re explaining them to someone who’s never been there
This interrupts the anxiety loop and helps your brain reorient.
4. Create Safe Rituals
Rituals create predictability — something an anxious brain craves.
Examples:
A morning routine that starts with a warm drink and gentle stretching
A bedtime wind-down ritual
A “reset playlist” you put on when you feel stuck
A grounding scent like lavender, eucalyptus, or vanilla
These cues become signals to your nervous system that it can soften.
5. Name What’s Happening
Anxiety feels bigger when it’s nameless.
Try phrases like:
“My body is having a fear response.”
“This is anxiety, not danger.”
“My thoughts are loud right now — I don’t have to obey them.”
By naming anxiety, you shrink its power.
6. Gentle Cognitive Strategies
You don’t have to argue with your thoughts. Sometimes reframing is softer and more effective.
Try asking yourself:
Is this thought a story or a fact?
What would I say to a friend who had this thought?
What’s the simplest next step I can take right now?
Aim for compassion, not perfection.
7. Reduce Anxiety by Reducing Overwhelm
Many anxious people (especially neurodivergent folks) are also overstimulated, overcommitted, and under-rested.
A few quick releases:
Cancel a non-essential task
Set a 5-minute timer and only do one small step
Delegate what you can
Make your environment quieter, softer, calmer
Less overwhelm → less anxiety.
8. Ask for Co-Regulation
Humans regulate best with other humans.
Even a 30-second connection can help.
Try:
texting a friend “can you send me a grounding emoji?”
sitting near someone you trust
asking for a hug or hand squeeze
talking out loud as you move through a task (“first I’m opening the cabinet, now I’m…”)
Co-regulation is not a weakness — it’s a built-in survival tool.
Anxiety Is Not a Personal Defect
If you’ve lived with anxiety for a long time, you may feel tired, frustrated, or even ashamed. Please know this:
Anxiety does not make you broken, dramatic, or difficult.
It makes you human.
It means your body is trying to protect you — sometimes too loudly, sometimes too persistently, but always out of care.
You deserve support, tools that work for your brain, and spaces where you can breathe again.
And if you need help learning how to navigate your anxiety with more clarity and compassion, you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can be a gentle place to explore what your anxiety is trying to tell you and how to regulate your nervous system in ways that feel genuinely supportive.
You are worth the steadiness you’re seeking.
